| some of my confessions |
[01 Jan 1997|03:33am] |
1. i cheated on my husband. i dont regret it and wish i could do it again. even though it hurt him and i dont want to hurt him.
2. i am sitll in love with the man that i cheated on him with. even though he gave me chlamydia, fucked me over, left me, hurt me, cheated on me, i still want to be with him more than anything.
3.in fact i am obsessed with that guy. i made this journal and it seems like its all about him even though i never see or talk to him.
4. i try to be so real but in fact i am so fake. noone in my real life knows i even have a journal. they dont know what i think they dont know anything. i try to be honest and upfront but it just never works out.
5. i am an addict. i am an alcoholic. i get fucked up all day every day just to keep a smile on my fucking face. i cant stop in fact i dont even want to.
6. i sleep until noon even though i have a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 month old. my baby sleeps with me and my son plays in his room. i need to stop.
7. i think about horrible things. horrible horrible things. the worst things you can thikn of.
8. i say mean spiteful things to people i love if they get too close, or just if i am in a bad mood.
9. i am lazy. and selfish. i have done nothing in my life i am nothing.
10. i despise myself.
11. i trust noone. i have nothing. except my kids.
12. if i dont take my zoloft everyday i am teh meanest worst person you have ever met.
13. i lie. not alot but enough. even if the evidence is in my face.
14. i dont keep in contact with my family. it makes me feel bad, but i just cant help it.
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