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[18 Aug 2003|01:07am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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I confess
-I just cut myself again, even though I swore I would never do it.
-I never wanted to die more then right now. But am so afraid.
-Afraid that if my boyfriend finds out I cut myself again he will leave me.
-I feel like I don't deserve to live.
-I only cut myself when the pain is too much to handle.
-All I wanted right now is someone to love me.
-I am afraid to die.
-I need a psychiatrist. Although, I think they will just put me into a home.
-I would rather take depression medicine.
-I only get like this once or twice a month.
-I have been tested for depression, and I don't have anything wrong with me.
-I hate myself. More then I have ever hated anything in my life.
-I cry all the time. Not little tears. Sobbing, Hyperventilating, Loud crying.
-I don't do it for sympathy or attention. I do it because I feel hurt.
-My boyfriend thinks me doing it is a tool and "not grown-up".
-I have no friends and get jealous when he is with his.
-I don't want him to leave me.
-I feel that he hates me. And never really did care.
-I think this should be my last night. Still scared.
-I know people hate these depressing "kill-myself" threads, but I can't talk to anyone. This is the best thing.
-I don't want to wake up tomorrow.
-I don't believe in God, although I pray to him when times get so tough I can't handle.
-I am crying right now.
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| High-ho silver, ride |
[18 Aug 2003|09:42pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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| [ |
music |
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pavement - stereo |
] |
i still have feelings for jp. and chris.
i promised myself i wouldnt.
and i may have renewed feelings for aaron. and chris. and joseph. what?
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