| Appologies |
[12 Oct 2003|01:14am] |
I give too much advice.
I think some of my concern for others arises out of my own insecurities.
I wish I could save the world.
I wish I had the motivation to try.
I believe that I will die.
I really hope no one needs me when I do.
I am really insecure, and it is rather obvious.
I want people to like me.
I really really want people to like me.
Most people really really don't like me whether I express myself or not.
Sometimes I am an asshole. A big asshole. I don't mean to be.... but I am.
I am going to be myself. No matter what the cost.
I try to do what is morally right as often as possible, but not always.
Sometimes I am too optimistic about other people's lives because I want to believe that they can have greater happiness... something I don't feel I can have.
I am better at listening than speaking.
I communicate emotion better than ideas.
I am short tempered with close minded people. I am really short tempered with mean people. I am just generally pissed of at people who are close minded and mean. I am also short tempered with people that have a short temper... I guess you could say I have no patience for impatience.
I don't think about how what I say sounds to others. I am beginning to feel that that isn't always a bad thing
I am good at finding problems. I like to solve problems. I need to stop trying to solve other people's problems.
I don't want to sell my soul. Not even to be liked. That is really hard for me to accept.
I am too critical of people-myself included.
I don't communicate well with my family. My fear of judgement causes me to keep a lot of things from them that I really shouldn't. A lot of my fear of criticism comes from my family. My family isn't nearly as critical as I think it is... but the criticism I do get from them hurts a lot more. I love them dearly, but get sick of them often.
I am still attracted to a 13 year old. I think that is really fucked up. I mean, really really fucked up since I am usually not even remotely attracted to anyone under the age of 23. I don't know what to think about that. Perhaps it is better if I don't.
I keep hoping one day I will find that the people around me have grown up. I am beginning to realize that this isn't ever going to happen. I find this very very dissapointing.
I most people are big fucking babies and need to fucking grow up. I include myself in this, naturally.
I need more sleep.
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