| Sleep and never wake. |
[24 Nov 2005|01:30am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Rise against/ swing life away. |
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I will confess. Its true I am a major fuck up in life. I confess that my life has been hell and it never improves. I confess that I use to run from hope. I confess……
I confess that 5 friends have killed themselves over the years. I confess that I had it so much better than other people in life but just didn’t care at the time. I have held one berretta to my head and another 45 to my chest to make sure I got the job done. I confess that I have spent many cold winter nights sitting on the edge of a bridge staring down at the black river below. All because I lost love. I confess that I almost gave up on all my friends, family, and my children. I confess, I let depression sink in so deep that I couldn’t feel any sort of physical pain. I confess that I became more selfish than I ever thought possible. I confess that I was sick and I needed help.
And now I confess that using the guns would have been a waste of hope for others. If you are thinking of killing yourself, get help. Talk to people who have been there, talk to family, talk to professionals who deal with suicide. Talk to me. Talk to anyone, but don’t take the easy way out. There is a way to change life and your outlook on it. I confess that I am thankful I did not kill myself. I confess that my heart is sad even thinking of it.
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