|
[29 Nov 2005|01:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
i confess the need to cut is getting stronger
i can almost taste my blood
|
|
| i confess |
[29 Nov 2005|07:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
i confess that i'm scared for my nana. i'm scared she will die, she has no will to live anymore. my mom is bringing her back to the hospital right now because she doesn't want to eat anymore, she doesn't want to live anymore.
i confess that when i'm scared i hurt myself. i'm scared that this is going to turn out bad. i must seem like i'm scared of everything, but i am really scared of myself and how this life is turning out.
i confess that i haven't been taking my sleeping pills everynight, because i save them for the weekends when i can take too many, trip out, pass out and sleep in.
i confess that i caved after only one month of not cutting, i caved.
i confess that i hate taking these anti-depressents and i wish things would be normal again, but i can't really even say i know what that is because i've been without it for so long.
i confess i took coke instead of cutting. that i miss being in the hospital. that i miss cutting. that i miss being able to cry. that i miss being happy, that i miss being sad.
i confess that i am so confussed with my emotions right now i don't even know where i stand. i'm lost in this daze tonight and i'm worried about my nana. i just lost my grampa two months ago, i can't handle this right now. i confess that i am weak, but i'll try and get through this.
|
|