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[15 May 2006|06:30pm] |
i confess that i have sex with him just so that i have a reason to cry afterwards. i hate myself for what i do, because i love him. i just hate myself.
i confess that i've stopped taking my anti-depressents. that i'm saving them up for a night when i want to leave for good. i have two jars of them now.
i confess that i've stopped eating actual meals because i want to be skinny. i want to fit into my grad dress. i keep telling people that i'm not hungry, but i really am.
i confess that i yell at my mom for no good reason. its just that she makes me feel so angry. the stupidest things set me off and i hate myself for it. i just cant control it anymore.
i confess... i want any type of control that i can get, even if it costs my sanity.
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[15 May 2006|07:04pm] |
i confess...
that i just cheated on my boyfriend last night with my ex.
my ex who i think i still have feelings for.
i don't want to have feelings for him anymore, but i know i still do...
i know i'll end up cheating on my boyfriend again with my ex in the future.
that i'm not too sure how i feel about my boyfriend, we've been dating since may 3rd, not too long.
that one of the reasons that i'm dating him is because he drives (i find that hot..) & he's in grade 12 & taking me to prom this year. i like him but i'm not sure.
that i keep thinking about my ex & i get butterflies when i see him and/or talk to him.
that i stay up late hoping my ex will txt me.
that i have a strong feeling that he still has feelings for me. both sexual and non-sexal (love-like feelings).
i confess that i'm totally confused...
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