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[18 May 2006|03:02am] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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Paper Bag -- Fiona Apple |
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I confess that, at the moment, I am absolutely terrified of where things are going.
And the term "things" applies to a lot of aspects of my life... but one in particular. One of the most important.
I confess that I want to be back on solid ground. Or maybe I never WAS on solid ground... in which case, I'd settle for just feeling like I am again.
I confess that I feel very alone in this relationship. Friendship. Whatever we're calling it now. It didn't used to be like that. Even when we were undefined, we still had that closeness. I feel like we're losing that. I wonder if it feels that way for you, too.
I confess that in spite of that sense of aloneness, and in spite of doing everything I know to fight it, you still turn me on more than anyone ever has. And I wish SO BADLY that I could show you... but I can't! I know you don't understand that.
I confess that I'm so afraid that the very things I need to do/have/be in order to be happy are going to be the very things that make you feel like you can never be happy with me -- and the reasons you'll eventually give up. :(
I confess that I need you to love me as deeply and desperately as I love you... but I'm too scared to let you know just how deeply and desperately that is...
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[18 May 2006|05:12am] |
I confess...
I hate traveling.
I want to kill my mom.
I want to commit suicide.
Oh well stupid dark thoughts are RETARDED
Never listen to that little voice in your head, it can really fuck you up!
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| Self doubt |
[18 May 2006|09:39pm] |
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I confess I put off the future i want so badly because I'm affraid I will fail.
I confess that I know what my problem is and just won't face it. This sucks.
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