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[25 Jul 2006|02:42am] |
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I confess:
It's almost sad in a way. I've been going out with my new boyfriend I love him to death and everything. But I just feel horrible, mainly because I can't see him a lot, also because he's having so many family problems I just don't know how to help him sometimes. Plus the worse thing being is that I still don't think that I deserve such a guy. I mean I'm still sometimes scared to tell him when somethings wrong no matter how much I know he won't be mad, make fun, or anything like that for as stupid as some things may be. I don't know how to fix this all. I don't want any of it to go down the drain because he's my first boyfriend. It's just so confusing and I don't know what to do. An the worst part is that i can't even tell my mom that "yes I finally have a boyfriend". Because she hates his "kind" being all gothic/emo like.
The second thing that I have to confess is that I'm back to my secret friendship with Jibby (her nick name). I love the girl she's my best friend in the whole world. I hate how I have to have it as a secret. It's just annoying because I have to fricken sneek around with everything. It's all just not fair, yes i know that life isn't fair don't moralize me on that. But still I mean I shouldn't have to do this, but I have to so that I don't make mom mad. I just want to die now, but I know I can't.
It's all just so confusing, annoying, frustrating, uncomfortable, an many more things that I just can't stop at listing.
That's my confession for now, and I really do hope that spamming person goes away...that's so annoying.
~Confused Girl
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